Living Life Under 5 Foot

Today is one of those days.  One of those days when my mind returns to previous years.  It turns to a laughter thats so contagious you soon would be laughing tears.  My mind turns to memories of growing up. Of spending as much time in the sun as possible.  It turns to old days when you weren't so far away.  I smile when I think of the time you made fun of me losing my voice.  The popsicles we would sneak before, during, and after hours. When they say "everything happens for a reason." I always pray that they are right. Because right now, this doesn't feel like a reason, more over it feels like torture.  When people tell me I will see you again, it hurts me to my very core. Because sometimes when I close my eyes, you are not gone from this life. Sometimes my best friend is right beside me.  But today, I'm reminded, you are not.  And I can't help but feel the sting of the hole you left in my life. So even though you wou

I can recall all the times I've cried. I know that sounds silly, but hey, I'm a little odd. I can remember crying when I was a child over my cousin biting my teddy bears head off. I cried when I moved to Canada. I cried when I got attacked by a hornets nest. I cried when my cousin scared me so bad I fell out of my house. I cried the day I understood what it meant to be alone. And I cried when I lost you. I've cried in joy, in happiness, in fear,  sadness, and I've cried in grief. Some cultures think it's healthy to cry, to let out those emotions that are on the inside, yet our culture tends to frown upon tears as to some it seems like a showing of weakness. Me? I tried to not cry in public because crying hurts my eyes, it hurts my brain, and it thoroughly hurts my pride. To admit I'm feeling a pain I cannot express is a difficult thing to measure up to. Yet sometimes without warning things that have been suppressed emerge through my eyes. But l