Living Life Under 5 Foot

I used to hate the feeling of forced restarts. They kind of always sucked. Usually it was a broken heart, or massive disappointment. This time, it was a choice. I chose to restart my life. That's okay. Sometimes things don't work out, and sometimes people let us down. That's okay too. It's their choice just as much as it's yours. Restarting doesn't have to be scary, crazy, or life changing. It can be as simple as every day telling yourself that you are okay, you are worth something, and you deserve love. Each day is a chance for us to restart and reevaluate our lives. This world has made it so we need to check all these little boxes in order to be a "real adults" (barf) HOW LAME IS THAT. Let me tell you, I'm so done living a life dictated by people who have no interest in me other than money. If you don't want to go to school, don't.  If you can't fathom the idea of children, don't have them.  If you want a love that last...

Fighting is a weird sensation to me. You take someone you love, and all of the sudden you feel like you could rip their head off, and not feel bad. They hurt you and make you more mad, angry and upset, than you've ever been. Your blood boils because it's them. The person you love, respect, and don't want to live without. Yet sometimes they are so incredibly rude and thoughtless. You push away not wanting to be hurt again, and then you end up hurting them, and they push back. This goes on and on until one of you breaks the wall and becomes a bigger person. You talk it through, cry a little, deal with the problems and now pains at hand. Then, peacefully, everything is restored. Problems become resolved and both parties compromise just a little to let the other one back in. Pretty quickly you are laughing, and through something you never thought you would make it through. Then they are standing right there, open arms, saying "Sorry, Forgive me." Then yo...

As always I like to sum up the year, month by month.. however that post comes the first day of January. Look for it.  Today, I will sum up the biggest part of my 2013 year through music lyrics of songs that I feel have touched me, inspired me, or reminded me.  Enjoy.  I heard the doctor, but what did he say, I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.- Ben Rector, When a Heart Breaks.  If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, Carry on. - FUN, Carry On. It's time to defy gravity- Wicked, Defying Gravity  It's the way you do the things you do that make me fall in love with you- Rocket to the Moon, Dakota  It's okay not to be okay, sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are- Jessie J, Who you are. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what doesn't kill you makes you a fighter- Kelly Clarkson, Stronger You can't carry i...

       This past week I've been worried teaching high school students. Mainly because in high school I didn't treat people the way I should have. I belittled, disrespected, and sometimes bullied. I laughed at others expense, because I thought it made me a better person. In high school I had the friends, support, and crowd that surrounded me to make me feel better about my choices. But everyone graduates, and everyone grows up. These are not moments that I am proud of, but I have used the past 3 years to change, and make up for it. At least I am trying.      Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. There is a reason it's called the golden rule. That is because it is worth so much value, and yet rarely found. Can you imagine what this world would be like if those who belittled kept silent. Or those who laugh at someone else's expense, chose to find real humour that didn't hurt someone. What about those bullies? If they just kept their ...

Allowing yourself to fall for someone comes at a painful price. 

I can't sleep.  Isn't it grand.  It has been happening a ton lately, and well just isn't too good for my health.  Today I thought I would write out some of my thoughts that's been keeping me up today. I saw this poster that said, "The thing that messes us up most in life is the picture of how we thought our life would be." Since January I have learned something profound, something that I feel many people knew and have known for years, but it was my first time experiencing it. My best friend left my life. I have pretended like it didn't hurt, pretended I didn't feel crushed, pretended that I was strong, heartless, and happy, until today.  It hurts.  Still to this day it kills me not having him in my life. He sunk as low as to delete me off Facebook. ( I know that sounds like a teenager thing to say, but honestly if they go through the trouble to delete you off Facebook you know that it just got real.)  This was my best frien...

New Years always brings  New goals  New ideas and sometimes if we are lucky  New perspectives.  We only accept the Love we THINK we deserve. The thing is, we always deserve more than we think we should. Life can sometimes beat us down, and make us feel like we are less than we really are. However, we are worth so much more. Stop settling. It has been said that a place is only as good as the people there. We can find ways to be happy no matter where we are. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don't make that place good.  This New Year is a time for change, understanding, accepting, and moving on. The future is unknown and anything can happen. But one thing is certain Tomorrow is another day and anything is possible.  Make it a good one.  xoxo Shay Brought the New Year in with my wonderful friend Jess. She makes it worth being here!

Here is my annual sum up of the year! xoxo Shay January- Started my job at the Children's Theatre, got in a pudding fight, created the robot box, moved into a new apartment in Salt Lake. February- chopped 9 inches off my hair, Bridge to Terabithia was finished and performed, Internship started at Utah Trailer Source. March- Keaton hits his year mark in the mission, Jonny comes home from mission, I meet Judith Rasband April- Emery hits 1!!! Jake hits year mark! School is finished I have a 3.9 GPA, Job starts at the LDS Business college May- I visit home, Quit the Children's Theatre, Katy and I had our first fight, Nate moved to UTAH! June- The accident, my jaw surgery, I visit ABQ, Ben leaves, watched Hot Rod 4 times. July- I watched the entire series of Ugly Betty, Found a new love for Mint Chocolate Chip Brownie, Turned 19, drove the mini cooper August- Worked my tail off (60 hours a week), went to 7 peaks, long boarded down the U of U hill, quit all my jobs...

Country music is such a weird thing, sometimes I really like it, and other times I cannot stand it.. but lately.. It's all I love.. and it's super confusing as to why! It can be so depressing!!!! Anyways off that rant, moving on. Life is such a funny thing, the way things work out. Plans, are meant to help us right? Well sometimes I feel like I make all these wonderful plans and in the end it doesn't really matter anyways. Humph. I'm taking the time to just go with it. I have an over all plan, but right now my little plans keep falling through, and it's getting rather annoying. Huffy Breath. Life is just a funny thing, you never know what's around the corner.