Living Life Under 5 Foot

As always I like to sum up the year, month by month.. however that post comes the first day of January. Look for it.  Today, I will sum up the biggest part of my 2013 year through music lyrics of songs that I feel have touched me, inspired me, or reminded me.  Enjoy.  I heard the doctor, but what did he say, I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.- Ben Rector, When a Heart Breaks.  If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, Carry on. - FUN, Carry On. It's time to defy gravity- Wicked, Defying Gravity  It's the way you do the things you do that make me fall in love with you- Rocket to the Moon, Dakota  It's okay not to be okay, sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are- Jessie J, Who you are. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what doesn't kill you makes you a fighter- Kelly Clarkson, Stronger You can't carry i

Every year we fail.  Every month we fail.  At least once a day, I fail at something.  There isn't a single person on this planet dead or alive that has not epically failed at some point in their life. However what determines greatness, is standing up again after that failure. When we face the winds, and the pressure, and return to our feet. In order to obtain success there will be times shortcomings appear, old ones resurface, and new ones smack us in the face. No matter the obstacle in our path, if we want success we must continue. There isn't a place in any scripture, quote, biography, or speech that has ever told us that life would be easy, that everything would work out for us the way we wanted. No where can you find those words, because they are grossly untrue. It's hard. Every day it's hard. No one is spared from the misfortune of failure. There is however a grand difference between those who consider themselves wildly successful, and a bum on the s

The sport of hurdles involves running, and then when a hurdle comes you have to jump it and continue on your run. It's usually 110 Meters long, and the point is to be the fastest. Basically it's a more difficult 100 meter race. Obstacles are placed in the runners way on purpose. Why do we have hurdles? What's the point? It has been said that the only way a person can have self confidence is by overcoming hurdles. Because accomplishing something you didn't think you could results in a special kind of high, that makes you think that you are wonderful, worth something, and that the sky is the limit. If we didn't have hurdles, we would be a weak miserable people. This world, every nation, family, school, and people have hurdles. We all have things that weigh us down, cause pain and beat us up a little bit. Here are my steps to overcoming hurdles. 1) Know what it is. Figure out that you may be struggling with something. Label it. Define it. Don't let it def

Want to know something neat? If you put 5 crabs in a bucket, you don't have to put a lid on it!!! They will all stay in there!  Why is that? You must ask. Because, the other crabs will pull the one trying to leave back in.  Why is that? Because misery loves company. If something gets out of the pot that means others are still in it. If someone wins, that means someone loses.  Today I compare those crabs to us. Each of us find a ourselves in a "pot" in life. Whether it's school, social, family, work, or mistakes. We are all in pots. Now see the thing about a pot, is they are negative, and we are surrounded by negative crabs who can sometimes bring us down. WE MUST CLIMB OUT.  We climb out by dreaming big, accomplish great things, and helping others climb out as well. No vice needs to hold us down. Surround yourself with like minded people. Positive people, and the change will naturally happen. The crabs that are holding you down w

       This past week I've been worried teaching high school students. Mainly because in high school I didn't treat people the way I should have. I belittled, disrespected, and sometimes bullied. I laughed at others expense, because I thought it made me a better person. In high school I had the friends, support, and crowd that surrounded me to make me feel better about my choices. But everyone graduates, and everyone grows up. These are not moments that I am proud of, but I have used the past 3 years to change, and make up for it. At least I am trying.      Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. There is a reason it's called the golden rule. That is because it is worth so much value, and yet rarely found. Can you imagine what this world would be like if those who belittled kept silent. Or those who laugh at someone else's expense, chose to find real humour that didn't hurt someone. What about those bullies? If they just kept their hands, and mou

I heard the CRAZIEST thing ever on the news today.  Scientists have developed an alcohol pill. "What is that?" You might ask.. Here let me tell you It's a pill you can take, you will get drunk, but then the next day you won't have a hangover.  Wow!  What an incredible breakthrough.         On the same note, I met with my Grandpa Eric today who is living with Lewy Body Dementia. Every time I visit it's the same. I use a key card to open the locked door, and then I walk to his room where he is sitting in his wheelchair. Today he told me I was late. He is always happy to see me, or even anyone as he is forced to be separated from his wife of 62 years. We talk about our day, (because that's all he really knows is happening) Then I take him in a walk in his wheelchair because he can't walk. We look at the sunset. We talk some more as he stumbles over his words and struggles to get them out.        Then, promptly at 4:45 I take him to his s

For those of you who don't know.  The most successful people in this world have 1 thing in common.  They have a goal, written down, that they view daily.  Do it.  It will change your life. If you feel you can't succeed. Get that sick voice out of your head and move forward. All the doors are open for everyone. We are made equal. We are made for greatness.  BELIEVE.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.  False.  Sticks and stones are a physical hurt, but words, those are a special kind of hurt, they hurt emotionally, which (depending on who said it) causes a physical pain as well. Being a speech student through high school, I always knew how to say things. How to verbalize myself, and get my point across. Now, this can be used for such a great thing. But in high school, it was evil, and I hurt people. Whether it was on purpose or it just happened while I was hating myself, I know not. Either way, I was the reason people were hurting. I would let my emotions take over my thoughts, and then like emotional vomit, out would come degrading, and painful thoughts, comments, or rumours. I wish I could take it back, no matter how I apologize to those I destroyed, I cannot take back those words. Just like a punch to the face, a bruise lasts for a while. Then after a time when it's gone, the nightmares of th

A bet most people don't know this.  This time last year, I was bleeding internally. The funny thing about this fact, is not only did most people not know, I didn't know. This time last year I was in immense pain, and had no understanding of what the next year would hold for me. Each day we get a chance to live life, to come together, and to be better. This is a simple fact that often people take and waste by watching movies, texting, hiding feelings, and doing nothing. Me? I almost lost my life, so I quickly had to change that. I used to think I had all the time in the world to make a difference, and to change, but that's not true. None of us know the time we have left, therefore we need to stop holding our life in. Life's for the living so we better start living. Last Thanksgiving I spent it with some family, and some friends. Even though I had troubles eating, sleeping, and standing I remember enjoying it. Within 2 weeks I would hit rock bottom without an

Allowing yourself to fall for someone comes at a painful price. 

What do you do if everything you want, means you have to give up everything you have?

Adjusting to life in Salt Lake has actually been pretty easy,  I mean I have had my ups and downs about this place,  but at the end of the day,  It's the people that are around me that make all the difference.  Some say I was running away from things in Lethbridge  Some could even think I just got bored Or my job ended.  or I left for or because of a boy.  That's not the case at all.  Although I honestly have no clue really why I left,  I'm glad I did.  There is something thrilling about a new place.  New friends,  New apartment New town,  New experiences, New job. New Shay.  Not like I'm not a compilation of everything I have been in my life.  I am. I'm just not held down by the social norms of those who have known me for a long time.  I am who I am now,  and I can see better who I want to be.  Though, I fall short many times on accomplishing those things,  I feel more so now than ever, that a new start is wh

Dating is like taking a road trip. There are fun times, and annoying times. There are times you just want to get off the road, and times you can't wait to get on. Some people are much like interesting cities in the middle of nowhere. You would never expect to see. The drive is long, and sometimes seems endless. There are times you break down, times when everything is going wrong, and sadly enough there are times when car accidents happen that can leave you stranded on the side of the road. It's times like that where I like to stay off the road for fear of destroying another car. It's the safer route to end the road trip, and stay in the town which helped heal the car accident. Some people can get back on the road fast, others pretend they can and crash and burn shortly again, and some special drivers, learn the cations of the road and wait their turn before attempting the feat again. I'm the type of driver that fears away from getting on the road. There is no c

In this world today, we are often asked what we believe, because we have to have something we believe in otherwise this world seems dim and dark. We need a belief system, something to support us. In todays trials it's a necessity. I came across the talk by Elder Jeffery R Holland from the LDS General Conference in April. "Lord, I believe." LOOK IT UP. http://youtu.be/2nPY22FoDpY Shay's thoughts. Often we lead our lives with what we don't know, but as I do that it makes me question what I do know. If I change it to leading with what I do know, there is something firm to stand on. This world changes so fast, mostly in way we don't want it to, ways we don't plan, and places our hearts don't want to believe. Sometimes it's difficult to understand why things happen, or why we are going through them. For me I struggle understanding why some prayers are answered and others seem to be forgotten, but then I am remember that I am living for the

This is a story that I have never told I gotta get this off my chest to let it go I need to take back the light inside you stole You're a criminal And you steal like you're a pro All the pain and the truth I wear like a battle wound So ashamed, so confused I was broken and bruised Now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger than I've ever been And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in I'm a warrior And you can never hurt me again Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar I've got shame, I've got scars That I will never show I'm a survivor In more ways than you know Cause all the pain and the truth I wear like a battle wound So ashamed, so confused I'm not broken or bruised 'Cause now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger

I think birthdays are a funny thing.  Celebrating getting one year older.  It almost seems forced.  However, that being said my family gave me a wonderful day of birth party.  The centre of attention was NOT me, but they did special things for me all day that I loved, it made me feel special and remembered. I've never had a birthday like this before.  At the end of the day I was still super happy.  Yay for me being 20.  Two whole decades over.  I've made it another year.  More to come! xox Shay! 

When I was 15 and 16 I was struggling with a bone disease.  One that sometimes was hard to fight, it hurt, and I was in pain. I couldn't live a normal teenage life. In fact I spent more time in hospitals and meeting with doctors than I did with many other things in my life. I had to quit sports, otherwise according to one doctor, "By age 21 I could be in a wheelchair." It was intimidating, to have my whole life change in such a drastic way, therefore in a way I gave up on myself. At the time I remember my dad telling me that after my surgery I would be able to run again, and play sports again, I just had to let my body heal.  FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS.  This year I started playing indoor soccer, nothing super big. But then everything with my internal bleeding happened.  Fast forward through, 1 cancer scare, 2 radiation treatments, 3 months basically on bedrest, and then my hair turning to crap.  This July 20th, on my 20th birthday I ran a 5K. That

Fear is a funny thing.  It sometimes can motivate us,  Or hibernate us. It can stretch us to accomplish the unthinkable  Or it can shrink us to be below our potential.  I have fears.  Real fears.  Every day.  Just like everyone else. 

Crap happens.  None of us escape this life without pain, suffering, hurt feelings, and terrible memories.  Sometimes it happens from our choices, other times it's choices of others that haunt us. No matter how it happens pain like this causes me to shut down, to hide away, and hope that the pain will stop. It hurts my heart and steals my energy.  How do we get over things like this?  Step 1: Accept that you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who wants nothing more for you than to be whole again thus He provided the Atonement to heal us as well as forgive us.  Step 2: Pray your little heart out. Nothing starts the healing process like a good cry and a prayer to the Lord.  Step 3: Start to forgive yourself. No matter what you did or anything anyone did to you somehow you will feel it's your fault. Even if it's the case the past is the past and there is NOTHING you can do to change it. Forgive yourself.  Step 4: Make restitutio

Today I decided that I need to get married.  Not for the normal reasons.  I need to have someone around to kill spiders.  My roommate and I are useless..  So I'm officially taking applications!  Come and get it boys! ;)  I promise I'll try and be normal.. but basically you need to kill spiders. 

ut·ter    /ˈətər/ Adjective Complete; absolute. bliss     /blis/ Noun Perfect happiness; great joy. Something providing such happiness. And this is how I feel.. right now.. at this very moment. 

Today was one of those days. Everything seemed to pile up on me Life seemed to be against me in fact a semi drove past me and now I have a chip the size of a softball in my BRAND NEW wind shield. Needless to say I could feel myself snapping. and I did something today That I normally don't do. I called my Bishop. Yup that's right. I asked for help. Him and I talked about my recent health, job situation  family stuff, and frankly just how far away my life seems to be from the picture I was planning in my head. Sometimes it's just upsetting. Then he told me, "Find little things that make you smile." Here they are. The Show "Easy A" I am thankful every freakin' day that I'm not in high school.  It's glorious.  My family who gives me a reason to smile.  My dad supports and continues to love me no matter the choices I make.  He inspires me to be a better person to become something.  And he always makes m

We are our own greatest critic.  Health is a valuable thing. It's one of those things you take for granted until it's gone. Much like a cold. It's always a wonderful thing to breathe through both nostrils until you realize you can only breathe through one you are so much more thankful again.  Much like hair, it bothers you and you have bad hair days, but you are so thankful that you can grow beautiful hair.  Just like a mistake, sometimes we slip up and make them, sometimes we do them on purpose, and sometimes they happen without us even thinking about it.  No matter the struggle, the trial, the mistake, or the challenge. We are all dealing with different hidden obstacles. We complain, and sometimes we suffer alone. Just remember you are perfect the way you are, because that's how the Lord made you.  And He Doesn't make mistakes. 

I can't sleep.  Isn't it grand.  It has been happening a ton lately, and well just isn't too good for my health.  Today I thought I would write out some of my thoughts that's been keeping me up today. I saw this poster that said, "The thing that messes us up most in life is the picture of how we thought our life would be." Since January I have learned something profound, something that I feel many people knew and have known for years, but it was my first time experiencing it. My best friend left my life. I have pretended like it didn't hurt, pretended I didn't feel crushed, pretended that I was strong, heartless, and happy, until today.  It hurts.  Still to this day it kills me not having him in my life. He sunk as low as to delete me off Facebook. ( I know that sounds like a teenager thing to say, but honestly if they go through the trouble to delete you off Facebook you know that it just got real.)  This was my best frien

Sometimes there are things that build up Emotions that pile up Errands to run that add up All of this takes away time.  Time that I should most likely spend on allowing myself to heal.  This weekend I needed a break I needed love I needed a restart.  I got it. 

Promise? Every day of my life...  I couldn't stop laughing!  ohhh I will try this My room was supposed to get cleaned... 

New Years always brings  New goals  New ideas and sometimes if we are lucky  New perspectives.  We only accept the Love we THINK we deserve. The thing is, we always deserve more than we think we should. Life can sometimes beat us down, and make us feel like we are less than we really are. However, we are worth so much more. Stop settling. It has been said that a place is only as good as the people there. We can find ways to be happy no matter where we are. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don't make that place good.  This New Year is a time for change, understanding, accepting, and moving on. The future is unknown and anything can happen. But one thing is certain Tomorrow is another day and anything is possible.  Make it a good one.  xoxo Shay Brought the New Year in with my wonderful friend Jess. She makes it worth being here!