Living Life Under 5 Foot

Fighting is a weird sensation to me. You take someone you love, and all of the sudden you feel like you could rip their head off, and not feel bad. They hurt you and make you more mad, angry and upset, than you've ever been. Your blood boils because it's them. The person you love, respect, and don't want to live without. Yet sometimes they are so incredibly rude and thoughtless. You push away not wanting to be hurt again, and then you end up hurting them, and they push back. This goes on and on until one of you breaks the wall and becomes a bigger person. You talk it through, cry a little, deal with the problems and now pains at hand. Then, peacefully, everything is restored. Problems become resolved and both parties compromise just a little to let the other one back in. Pretty quickly you are laughing, and through something you never thought you would make it through. Then they are standing right there, open arms, saying "Sorry, Forgive me." Then yo

I feel like I write about him a ton. But I write about what I love.  And I love him.  Yvonne has been gone since Wednesday, which means I've had the selfish pleasure of having Eric all to myself. It's been so hard as some days he thinks that Yvonne left him and doesn't love him. Or when he talks about how frustrated he is that he can't remember important things, or when he asks me why I spend so much time with an old man like himself.  The truth of the matter?  Love.  My years growing up were hard. Not incredibly hard, or harder than others, but they were difficult for me, socially, emotionally, and physically. Every day growing up when I asked Eric how he was he would say, "I'm gunna make it" (still to this day this is his response) I remember many days going to their house for my speech lesson, at 3:30, and staying till 6 or 7 at night. I remember the countless stories, the years of wisdom, love, and endless support. How could I not pay t

Love is such a wonderful thing. It can be a terrible painful experience when it's not love. But when you find love. It's blissful. That's what they say anyways.  Often people seek to find love, to understand it. I believe no one can ever properly define it because it different with each person. It's different stages.  Find something and someone that makes you the happiest. And well that my friends. That is love.

We have the chance to be great. Each of us are born with this untapped greatness about us. Yet, why is it we waste such God given talent? Placebo Effect.  In Princeton in 2002, a young college student held a 'kegger party' however instead of beer, he had non- alcoholic beer. Which smells, and tastes like beer but it does not contain alcohol. He then recorded his friends who soon began acting drunk because they believed they were drunk. These college students were passing out, throwing up, walking crazy, and even slurring their speech. Yet not a single one of them were drunk.  What your brain believes will happen, WILL HAPPEN. The only way things don't happen is if you say can't. Can't means won't. We as a human race need to begin to believe again. To believe in ourselves, and the abundant greatness we hold within ourselves. The successes we can accomplish that no one on this planet can.  You were born here at this time, this country, and

Today was one of those days.....  The kind of day that I miss you so terribly, and I can't fathom the distance since I was last with you.  Today was one of those days.... The kind of day that I wish I could pluck you from my dreams and dance with you one more time. Today was one of those days.... The kind that I wish heaven wasn't so far away.  My head turns to the thought of movement. Acceleration, and velocity.  My heart turns to the thought of life. Distance, and time. Every day we fight to move on from pains in our pasts. Love one's we've lost. Most days are good, but some days, are like today. Talking with my sweet Eric in the extend-a-care is something I cherish. We talk (as much as he can) about life, and mostly the life that we has lived. We talk of memories, and things that make us smile. Today, we talked about you. It slipped my mind the years it's been, because today, it felt like it had been a day. As I drov

One of my close girl friends has been in a terrible relationship for 2 years now. Over and over again this man has cheated, lied, used, and took for granted my amazing friend. And time and time again she took him back when he said he was sorry, that he didn't mean what he said, and the other girls he slept with meant nothing. Quickly a loop was formed which is hard to break. Tonight marked the end of it for good. She's getting her stuff back, and finally kicking him to the curb. When her and I were talking last night she said something that blew my mind. She said, "Shay, I forgot how much I am worth, and that I am an amazing person. I forgot myself." How many of us lose ourselves into something? Or someone? How do we gain that back? Where do we start? - The very beginning.  - Get RID of Whatever You are Losing Yourself To. I know it hurts, I know it's hard. But if you look in the mirror and no longer see yourself, then you must face the pain, the hurt

As this New Year has begun, just like any other year, it feels as if nothing has changed. Then I tried to fill out some paper work today.. it's 2014. Wow. It's 2014. There were times in 2013 I didn't think I would make it through. I thought for sure it was the end, and my heart couldn't take any more grief. Life goes on though. Things keep moving. It's 2014 and it's been a wonderful time so far.  I will continue to strive for happiness, because we all know that you have to fight for your own happiness. I'm just happy to say I have wonderful people by my side to help me do so. I'm welcoming 2014, and saying goodbye to everything in 2013. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, it's a new year. Do the same. Cut the crap from your life. Maybe it's not a time to make huge goals, or crazy objectives. Maybe it's the time to remind yourself how much you are worth, how much you deserve and to be happy again.

January- I went to Edmonton with a bunch of friends, started round 1 of radiation. February- Ethan got his mission call to Jamaica, I took a trip to Utah and visited Tycy and Stefan March - Huge bonfire at Ethan's house, watched Walking Dead, Flippin Family Fun Opens we take a road trip there April- Grandpa passed away. Started officially dating Austin, Supreme Cooking Nachos Night, Deathbridge Dames Roller Derby, helped move Eric and Yvonne into the Extendicare May- Phoenix's graduation, Calgary Zoo. Jake came home. Mary got married! Finished radiation. June- Modeled wedding dresses with Des, Dad's birthday in Great Falls, drove a dump truck, road in the back of said dump truck, Ethan's farewell Moved in with Marlanda July-  Ethan left on his mission, Dance festival, Bridge jumping at midnight, huge sleepover, Selena Gomez concert, painted the barn. Josh was killed in the mission field. August-  Whoop- Up Days, Writing on stone, Utah friends came to visit