Living Life Under 5 Foot

Sometimes we get it wrong. We simply get it wrong. On occasion it's because we are too stubborn to admit we are wrong, other  times its because we just didn't know. But just because we got it wrong doesn't mean we have to stay in pain for the rest of our young lives. It doesn't mean our hearts will be shattered forever. You know that saying, the one everyone says when you break up? It goes a little like this, 'At least you learned something.... right? ' Gosh. Doesn't that phrase piss you off? Yes, it bothers me as well. It takes time, TONS of time before a glimmer can even happen. After dating a man for almost two years, and being alone for the past year, I have decided to try what they all say, and figure out what I learned. Here are the ramblings of a stressed out college girl piecing her life together. Lesson 1: Not all the time is it a 'me' problem.  A relationship takes two willing adults to make it function. No matter how hard you try,...

I have been pondering this post for quite a while. For many reasons. One of which I want it to be different than last year ( Summing it up through songs ) but I also didn't want to be too personal with it. Now, I think I've got the best idea for how to end this. I call it my 2014 mantra. Here it goes.  I've learned not everyone can be trusted, that not everyone will love you back, and maybe they might not even like you. I've learned you can survive a broken heart even when the pieces never fit together again. I've learned many will use, abuse, and hurt you. Some will step on you to get ahead. Not everyone you love will help you to be better, and family isn't the only support. I've learned standing up after you've fallen is more important than the fall itself.  But mostly I've learned that through everything there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are people who will help you. Others will love you! And some will change the course ...

Fighting is a weird sensation to me. You take someone you love, and all of the sudden you feel like you could rip their head off, and not feel bad. They hurt you and make you more mad, angry and upset, than you've ever been. Your blood boils because it's them. The person you love, respect, and don't want to live without. Yet sometimes they are so incredibly rude and thoughtless. You push away not wanting to be hurt again, and then you end up hurting them, and they push back. This goes on and on until one of you breaks the wall and becomes a bigger person. You talk it through, cry a little, deal with the problems and now pains at hand. Then, peacefully, everything is restored. Problems become resolved and both parties compromise just a little to let the other one back in. Pretty quickly you are laughing, and through something you never thought you would make it through. Then they are standing right there, open arms, saying "Sorry, Forgive me." Then yo...

As always I like to sum up the year, month by month.. however that post comes the first day of January. Look for it.  Today, I will sum up the biggest part of my 2013 year through music lyrics of songs that I feel have touched me, inspired me, or reminded me.  Enjoy.  I heard the doctor, but what did he say, I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.- Ben Rector, When a Heart Breaks.  If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, Carry on. - FUN, Carry On. It's time to defy gravity- Wicked, Defying Gravity  It's the way you do the things you do that make me fall in love with you- Rocket to the Moon, Dakota  It's okay not to be okay, sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are- Jessie J, Who you are. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what doesn't kill you makes you a fighter- Kelly Clarkson, Stronger You can't carry i...

Allowing yourself to fall for someone comes at a painful price. 

Adjusting to life in Salt Lake has actually been pretty easy,  I mean I have had my ups and downs about this place,  but at the end of the day,  It's the people that are around me that make all the difference.  Some say I was running away from things in Lethbridge  Some could even think I just got bored Or my job ended.  or I left for or because of a boy.  That's not the case at all.  Although I honestly have no clue really why I left,  I'm glad I did.  There is something thrilling about a new place.  New friends,  New apartment New town,  New experiences, New job. New Shay.  Not like I'm not a compilation of everything I have been in my life.  I am. I'm just not held down by the social norms of those who have known me for a long time.  I am who I am now,  and I can see better who I want to be.  Though, I fall short many times on accomplishing ...

Dating is like taking a road trip. There are fun times, and annoying times. There are times you just want to get off the road, and times you can't wait to get on. Some people are much like interesting cities in the middle of nowhere. You would never expect to see. The drive is long, and sometimes seems endless. There are times you break down, times when everything is going wrong, and sadly enough there are times when car accidents happen that can leave you stranded on the side of the road. It's times like that where I like to stay off the road for fear of destroying another car. It's the safer route to end the road trip, and stay in the town which helped heal the car accident. Some people can get back on the road fast, others pretend they can and crash and burn shortly again, and some special drivers, learn the cations of the road and wait their turn before attempting the feat again. I'm the type of driver that fears away from getting on the road. There is no c...

Fear is a funny thing.  It sometimes can motivate us,  Or hibernate us. It can stretch us to accomplish the unthinkable  Or it can shrink us to be below our potential.  I have fears.  Real fears.  Every day.  Just like everyone else. 

Today I decided that I need to get married.  Not for the normal reasons.  I need to have someone around to kill spiders.  My roommate and I are useless..  So I'm officially taking applications!  Come and get it boys! ;)  I promise I'll try and be normal.. but basically you need to kill spiders. 

ut·ter    /ˈətər/ Adjective Complete; absolute. bliss     /blis/ Noun Perfect happiness; great joy. Something providing such happiness. And this is how I feel.. right now.. at this very moment. 

Today was one of those days. Everything seemed to pile up on me Life seemed to be against me in fact a semi drove past me and now I have a chip the size of a softball in my BRAND NEW wind shield. Needless to say I could feel myself snapping. and I did something today That I normally don't do. I called my Bishop. Yup that's right. I asked for help. Him and I talked about my recent health, job situation  family stuff, and frankly just how far away my life seems to be from the picture I was planning in my head. Sometimes it's just upsetting. Then he told me, "Find little things that make you smile." Here they are. The Show "Easy A" I am thankful every freakin' day that I'm not in high school.  It's glorious.  My family who gives me a reason to smile.  My dad supports and continues to love me no matter the choices I make.  He inspires me to be a better person to become something.  And he always makes m...

New Years always brings  New goals  New ideas and sometimes if we are lucky  New perspectives.  We only accept the Love we THINK we deserve. The thing is, we always deserve more than we think we should. Life can sometimes beat us down, and make us feel like we are less than we really are. However, we are worth so much more. Stop settling. It has been said that a place is only as good as the people there. We can find ways to be happy no matter where we are. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who don't make that place good.  This New Year is a time for change, understanding, accepting, and moving on. The future is unknown and anything can happen. But one thing is certain Tomorrow is another day and anything is possible.  Make it a good one.  xoxo Shay Brought the New Year in with my wonderful friend Jess. She makes it worth being here!

Here is my annual sum up of the year! xoxo Shay January- Started my job at the Children's Theatre, got in a pudding fight, created the robot box, moved into a new apartment in Salt Lake. February- chopped 9 inches off my hair, Bridge to Terabithia was finished and performed, Internship started at Utah Trailer Source. March- Keaton hits his year mark in the mission, Jonny comes home from mission, I meet Judith Rasband April- Emery hits 1!!! Jake hits year mark! School is finished I have a 3.9 GPA, Job starts at the LDS Business college May- I visit home, Quit the Children's Theatre, Katy and I had our first fight, Nate moved to UTAH! June- The accident, my jaw surgery, I visit ABQ, Ben leaves, watched Hot Rod 4 times. July- I watched the entire series of Ugly Betty, Found a new love for Mint Chocolate Chip Brownie, Turned 19, drove the mini cooper August- Worked my tail off (60 hours a week), went to 7 peaks, long boarded down the U of U hill, quit all my jobs...

-Miracles happen - It snows - The sun shines through clouds - I paint walls - Bananas become my favourite fruit - I travel with my dad - I try to sing publicly  - I see my family in Spokane - It's Christmas time - I get excited for New Years - My sister loved her present  - You see smiles on people's faces - There are friendly strangers - Strangers fill up my gas tank and check my oil - My car gets fixed - I get locked out of my house because I forgot the code.. - Healing takes place - Closure is found - Strength to move on shows itself - Happiness is everywhere - My sisters are pregnant - I find out what they are having through FACEBOOK . guh. (Indie.) -Tycy graduates - Indie comes to visit me - I buy a new hockey stick - I see my wonderful friend Mary - I don't become the hulk - or get super powers. It's a sad day  -But once in a while.. the Lords plan starts to make a little sense. Family. Source.

Country music is such a weird thing, sometimes I really like it, and other times I cannot stand it.. but lately.. It's all I love.. and it's super confusing as to why! It can be so depressing!!!! Anyways off that rant, moving on. Life is such a funny thing, the way things work out. Plans, are meant to help us right? Well sometimes I feel like I make all these wonderful plans and in the end it doesn't really matter anyways. Humph. I'm taking the time to just go with it. I have an over all plan, but right now my little plans keep falling through, and it's getting rather annoying. Huffy Breath. Life is just a funny thing, you never know what's around the corner.

I honestly fell in love with this song! I already love this band.. but man oh man.. this song is just GREAT! We shall pretend it's my music Blog day! Listen to the Lyrics, it's about going after something, no matter how it hurts, because sometimes you have to say goodbye to something because they or it is not good for you!

Whatever.. I'm over it!

Our friendship of years, times spent laughing, times spent crying, I found safety falling into your arms, More than any romantical nonsense, or impossible butterflies, The world was ours, and we conquered all. Then in one short night, it all tumbled down, The years, laughs, pictures. Stuffed away to be given back. And so it was. Our friendship was given back to me In    one         small               plastic                        bag...

Liars. We all know a couple of them and equally they all can't be trusted. That friend who said you looked cute in that color, the boyfriend who said he loved you, the girl who promised she would keep your secret. The dictionary defines a liar as a person who tells lies. Plain and simple. But what is a lie?  Lie: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.  The intent to actually purposely deceive someone. What is the point? People say the truth hurts, well I can say that a lie hurts more than a truth. I would rather know what I'm doing wrong when it's happening verses later when I have thought everything was fine. A truthful friend is a true friend, a friend who covers the truth in order to "protect the feelings" is a worthless friend. In this day and age there are so many people who run around pretending to be something they're not, they are liars. There are girls who pretend to like a...

The hardest part of growing up, is learning that sometimes not everyone follows you. It has been a different time of my life to learn that sometimes growing up you have to do what's best for you no matter how hard it hurts at the time. Sometimes you have to walk away from people who use you, hurt you, and crush you. No matter how nice they are in between fights, that ugly side always comes out and no matter what you will lose. Then to see that person with someone they have always said they dislike strongly, and to see them all buddy-buddy makes one wonder if any of the friendship was actually true, if they actually meant what they said or if the whole time they were using you. What sort of sick game do some guys play? Do they get a thrill out of earning a girls trust, of being their best friend then using everything they know about them against them? I just don't get it. Then us girls usually listen to slow, sad love songs, AS IF that will actually make us feel better, when i...