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Showing posts from September, 2019

To the Moment When I Thought I was Dying

"This might be it." "Breathe." "I know it hurts, but breathe Shay. You need to breathe." For a moment I start to forget how important oxygen is, it’s like my body stops caring about breathing, it hurts too much, and it’s way too much work for the little o2 that’s coming to me. My body starts to comfort itself, things are going tingly, dark, and I’m getting cold. I can feel the laboring slowing down. The pain increases again, my eyes start to close, and my feet are completely numb. I feel a cold tear drip down the side of my face as my world slips into darkness.   "No."   "Wake up."   "This isn’t it for you." "You aren’t going like this."   I force another painful breath in.   "Ouch."   I could go on, and in more detail, however for the sake of my very terrified brain, that's the only piece you'll get from my journal. That came the second night I was