Living Life Under 5 Foot

! Do I have what it takes? I've asked myself that about 436,598 times over the past 5 years, and in the course of my life.. I know I've asked it even more than that. Being self employed is not an easy task all the time, it's giving up partying on weekends, it's staying home to plan work, or to onboard a client. It's dealing with clients who preach one thing and practice another. It's knowing who you are in and out of the business. This week my friend and I watched Spider-man Homecoming.. okay.. we watched it for like the 5th time.. but whatever.. the point of it is.. there's a moment where Peter is talking to Tony and he says, "You can't take this suit, I'm nothing without it" Then Tony says, "If you are nothing without the suit then you shouldn't have it." Later when it builds to the pinnacle part of the story Peter is crushed under half a building, and he's trying to stand.. it's a very emotional moment fo...

Divorce does the same thing to each person however, we all deal with it differently, and we all get a little screwed up in the process. We don’t understand the why of divorce and the direct effect on the mind, but we can see the changes in a life.   "Studies have shown that that children of divorce are far more likely to be delinquent, engage in premarital sex, and bear children out of wedlock during adolescence and young adulthood. A 33-year study published in 1998 in the American Sociological Review revealed that children whose parents divorced in their childhood or adolescence were likely to be afflicted with emotional problems such as depression or anxiety well into their twenties or early thirties." [Maher, B. (2003) Patching Up the American Family. World and I, v18 i1 p56. Retrieved June 9, 2004 from Expanded Academic ASAP]  Many children of divorce struggle with identity. 47 % of children deal with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or anore...

Saying goodbye to consistency. That's how I felt when a new driver took my 1994 Toyota Camry. For those of you who have ever sat or had the privilege of driving in my car would attest that this wouldn't be something to even feel remotely sad about. Since she (my car we will call her Rikka) sounded like a dump truck, only unlocked from the passenger door, rattled whenever we sped up, radio didn't work because the antenna was snipped.. and many more funny quirks, it still was a little bitter sweet, and here's why. I bought my car when I was 17 for only $1,500, she then moved me to Utah with my whole life in her, drove me to school, work, shopping, and back to Canada when my friends were killed, I sat in her when I cried, she listened to me belt out my favourite songs (which isn't pretty because I'm a terrible singer). Anytime I've prepped for a speech, she gets to be the thing to hear it over and over again. She then moved me back to Canada to experience m...

I have been pondering this post for quite a while. For many reasons. One of which I want it to be different than last year ( Summing it up through songs ) but I also didn't want to be too personal with it. Now, I think I've got the best idea for how to end this. I call it my 2014 mantra. Here it goes.  I've learned not everyone can be trusted, that not everyone will love you back, and maybe they might not even like you. I've learned you can survive a broken heart even when the pieces never fit together again. I've learned many will use, abuse, and hurt you. Some will step on you to get ahead. Not everyone you love will help you to be better, and family isn't the only support. I've learned standing up after you've fallen is more important than the fall itself.  But mostly I've learned that through everything there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are people who will help you. Others will love you! And some will change the course ...

As this New Year has begun, just like any other year, it feels as if nothing has changed. Then I tried to fill out some paper work today.. it's 2014. Wow. It's 2014. There were times in 2013 I didn't think I would make it through. I thought for sure it was the end, and my heart couldn't take any more grief. Life goes on though. Things keep moving. It's 2014 and it's been a wonderful time so far.  I will continue to strive for happiness, because we all know that you have to fight for your own happiness. I'm just happy to say I have wonderful people by my side to help me do so. I'm welcoming 2014, and saying goodbye to everything in 2013. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, it's a new year. Do the same. Cut the crap from your life. Maybe it's not a time to make huge goals, or crazy objectives. Maybe it's the time to remind yourself how much you are worth, how much you deserve and to be happy again. ...

As always I like to sum up the year, month by month.. however that post comes the first day of January. Look for it.  Today, I will sum up the biggest part of my 2013 year through music lyrics of songs that I feel have touched me, inspired me, or reminded me.  Enjoy.  I heard the doctor, but what did he say, I knew I was fine about this time yesterday.- Ben Rector, When a Heart Breaks.  If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, Carry on. - FUN, Carry On. It's time to defy gravity- Wicked, Defying Gravity  It's the way you do the things you do that make me fall in love with you- Rocket to the Moon, Dakota  It's okay not to be okay, sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are- Jessie J, Who you are. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what doesn't kill you makes you a fighter- Kelly Clarkson, Stronger You can't carry i...

Want to know something neat? If you put 5 crabs in a bucket, you don't have to put a lid on it!!! They will all stay in there!  Why is that? You must ask. Because, the other crabs will pull the one trying to leave back in.  Why is that? Because misery loves company. If something gets out of the pot that means others are still in it. If someone wins, that means someone loses.  Today I compare those crabs to us. Each of us find a ourselves in a "pot" in life. Whether it's school, social, family, work, or mistakes. We are all in pots. Now see the thing about a pot, is they are negative, and we are surrounded by negative crabs who can sometimes bring us down. WE MUST CLIMB OUT.  We climb out by dreaming big, accomplish great things, and helping others climb out as well. No vice needs to hold us down. Surround yourself with like minded people. Positive people, and the change will naturally happen. The crabs that are holding you down ...

A bet most people don't know this.  This time last year, I was bleeding internally. The funny thing about this fact, is not only did most people not know, I didn't know. This time last year I was in immense pain, and had no understanding of what the next year would hold for me. Each day we get a chance to live life, to come together, and to be better. This is a simple fact that often people take and waste by watching movies, texting, hiding feelings, and doing nothing. Me? I almost lost my life, so I quickly had to change that. I used to think I had all the time in the world to make a difference, and to change, but that's not true. None of us know the time we have left, therefore we need to stop holding our life in. Life's for the living so we better start living. Last Thanksgiving I spent it with some family, and some friends. Even though I had troubles eating, sleeping, and standing I remember enjoying it. Within 2 weeks I would hit rock bottom without an...

I think birthdays are a funny thing.  Celebrating getting one year older.  It almost seems forced.  However, that being said my family gave me a wonderful day of birth party.  The centre of attention was NOT me, but they did special things for me all day that I loved, it made me feel special and remembered. I've never had a birthday like this before.  At the end of the day I was still super happy.  Yay for me being 20.  Two whole decades over.  I've made it another year.  More to come! xox Shay! 

Crap happens.  None of us escape this life without pain, suffering, hurt feelings, and terrible memories.  Sometimes it happens from our choices, other times it's choices of others that haunt us. No matter how it happens pain like this causes me to shut down, to hide away, and hope that the pain will stop. It hurts my heart and steals my energy.  How do we get over things like this?  Step 1: Accept that you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who wants nothing more for you than to be whole again thus He provided the Atonement to heal us as well as forgive us.  Step 2: Pray your little heart out. Nothing starts the healing process like a good cry and a prayer to the Lord.  Step 3: Start to forgive yourself. No matter what you did or anything anyone did to you somehow you will feel it's your fault. Even if it's the case the past is the past and there is NOTHING you can do to change it. Forgive yourself.  S...

Here is my annual sum up of the year! xoxo Shay January- Started my job at the Children's Theatre, got in a pudding fight, created the robot box, moved into a new apartment in Salt Lake. February- chopped 9 inches off my hair, Bridge to Terabithia was finished and performed, Internship started at Utah Trailer Source. March- Keaton hits his year mark in the mission, Jonny comes home from mission, I meet Judith Rasband April- Emery hits 1!!! Jake hits year mark! School is finished I have a 3.9 GPA, Job starts at the LDS Business college May- I visit home, Quit the Children's Theatre, Katy and I had our first fight, Nate moved to UTAH! June- The accident, my jaw surgery, I visit ABQ, Ben leaves, watched Hot Rod 4 times. July- I watched the entire series of Ugly Betty, Found a new love for Mint Chocolate Chip Brownie, Turned 19, drove the mini cooper August- Worked my tail off (60 hours a week), went to 7 peaks, long boarded down the U of U hill, quit all my jobs...

Enjoy!!  My October life will consist of this until I reach 1,000 names!  I don't care who you are... this is DANG funny! 

WOZERS! Another year has come and gone! So many things happened in one year! Let me list some of the highlights.. January  2011 -White out Dance, got my Grad shoes. Seth left on Mission February 2011 - Jake got his mission call, Indie and I took a road trip to Rexburg March 2011 - Got accepted into LDSBC!!!!!  Keaton left on mission April 2011 - Jake came up for a surprise visit, Daniel came home from his mission, Jake left on a mission, I went to EUROPE! Emery was born! My cute little bloog of a nephew! May 2011 - Grad, Daniel came up, took my speech tests, officially in YSA, Spencer left on mission. Atreyu turned one!!! woot! Started walking! June 2011 - I started a new job, Cut my hair, seminary grad, ARCT test, DONE HIGH SCHOOL July 2011 - Moved into the master suit in my house, My 18th birthday, Magrath Days, dislocated jaw Des and I "break up" August 2011 - Started dating Brad B., went on a walky across the road thingy, picnic/ dancing in the park, bou...