Living Life Under 5 Foot

I don't know a whole ton about life, since I'll only be turning 21 in July.  I do know enough to say with confidence, that life comes in waves. Times where everything seems to be falling apart, and times when everything starts to work out. Just like with waves we can feel as we start going up, or going down.  I call this the strength tester.  How strong are we? How do we become stronger people?  Life. We have to get good at life.  I know that sounds strange but it's true. Everything in this life tries to tear us down, belittle, and say that we can't do it. Depression, war, hatred, desolation lay waste to many good things. Most people stop believing in the good, because we are surrounded by bad.  Our lives work in waves. Each thing we are dealing with will pass. I can look back at my life and remember places where I was ready to give up and let 'life' win, but each thing passed. My heart recovered and life kept going. I became stronger, better, and smarter. ...

Today's video.

Things have been difficult. At work there is this person who is going out of her way to make my boss and I miserable she sometimes says just the meanest things possible. Just to hurt us, so we will give up and give her whatever she wants. And sometimes this has happened in my personal life lately. What I have learned about this: If someone treats you terrible so you will do whatever it is they want you to. Don't give in just for the purpose of them being nice to you. Those types of people are childish, and they will hurt you again the next time you differ on things.  I wish we lived in a world where everyone told the truth, and people were nice and loving, because they were nice, and loved you. However, from what I've seen, it's not the case.  The only way to break this terrible downfall is to be nice and loving. Even if they are not.  Sometimes you have to let your heart break, and allow the source of the pain to walk away.  At the end of the d...

I've been terrified of this moment my whole life. I knew eventually it had to happen, because odds are it would. Odds are, I would prepare for the future, and that future might not prepare for me. This moment is here, and it's worse than anyone could prepare me for, but at the same time it's this 'I can be empowered moment.' I wish life was as easy as a love song. "I want you to want me," Bam, they magically wanted you. "You are good enough to me, and I'm good enough for you." Woot. There we go, things work out. But no, life is a mixture of everything. A little bit of everything. So because of that, I will be posting wonderful songs, videos and movie clips because I'd rather show that, than what "I'm feeling" Because sometimes you are past all feelings and other people can express you better than you can yourself. Here it goes: my first song, and I'm not going to explain it. Just listen. It's lovely.

In case you don't know yet, I love using song lyrics as titles. Maybe it's because some song lyrics just hit a place in my heart and mind, then stay there. Or maybe I'm a weirdo.  Take your pick.  Lately, sleep has seem to leave me. Which gives me too much time to think. Lately, I think about life. Choices that I could have chosen to do something different. Conversations which could have changed the way life has occurred, situations I could have avoided. Then I found myself in this downward spiral of sadness, and of regret. So tonight; I did something different. I thought of the wonderful times. The times I laughed so much that my sides hurt. Funny stories, noises, and all the adventures of the beginning. I thought of conversations that made my heart skip a beat, and moments I wanted to pause. This had no regret, this had happiness, and wonderfulness. This had love. Memories have a weird way of hurting, and being lovely all at the same time. I don't get it...

The title? I thought it was better than "Happy Mother's Day" or "My Mom is Better Than Your Mom" or anything like that. I was listening to this song on the way home, and thought it touched on the topic perfectly. Through the fall out. In life there are so many fall outs, times when we feel we are free falling alone, and helpless. Well, there are people who encourage us and help direct us onto a soft landing, hopefully. Here are mine. First, my mother. She gave birth to me like every one else's mother. She raised me, sang to me, cuddled me, and comforted me. But most importantly she taught me to think for myself, and be my own person. (As I grew up and was finding that person it was not always the easiest journey.) But she stuck it out. She showed me how to go on when your life falls apart on you, and how to pick others up when they are down. She taught me of service, and giving service instead of gifts. She gave me my "I'm not really overly a...

The sign says turn left, but yet I take the right down a different road I travel everyday and every night I see other people along my path Their happiness seems to abound Yet every once in a while I get the sudden urge to turn around. There are signs warning, giving cations Pressing forward we disregard everything seen because at my young age I believe I know more even though that sounds obscene. Occasionally I see a glimpse of those who turned left. Driving a different path than mine There seems to be a glow about them instead with us, we seem just fine. More signs telling us to turn left Some of us take the sign But no, sadly not me, For sometimes I am too stubborn in the mind. I takes a shattering fear, an earthquaking rumble, to cause me to look up and notice I know not where I stand, and that makes me tremble. Where is the nearest place to turn around? Return to stable land? How do I do it, when all those who turned left Know exactly where I c...