When You're Dreaming with a Broken Heart.

In case you don't know yet, I love using song lyrics as titles. Maybe it's because some song lyrics just hit a place in my heart and mind, then stay there.

Or maybe I'm a weirdo.

Take your pick.

Lately, sleep has seem to leave me. Which gives me too much time to think.

Lately, I think about life. Choices that I could have chosen to do something different. Conversations which could have changed the way life has occurred, situations I could have avoided. Then I found myself in this downward spiral of sadness, and of regret.

So tonight; I did something different. I thought of the wonderful times. The times I laughed so much that my sides hurt. Funny stories, noises, and all the adventures of the beginning. I thought of conversations that made my heart skip a beat, and moments I wanted to pause. This had no regret, this had happiness, and wonderfulness. This had love.

Memories have a weird way of hurting, and being lovely all at the same time. I don't get it. But then again, I don't get the emotions behind everything either.

I'm happy to know that even though sleep is far away, that the sun is always near. It will come up, a new day will start. For it will not be dark all my life.

Comments

Your "Thoughts and Prayers" Are Bullshit.

Yes. I said it. I also thoroughly agree with that statement. Here's why. As I've been going through pretty huge and life-changing medical problems, my family has been physically nowhere near me. Granted my intestine decided to swell up in Saskatoon, which isn't convenient for anyone. It's given me so much time to think, in some scary and painful moments. Let me preface this by saying I'm not a religious person, However from what I know, God, helped those in need, he didn't just pray for the sick, he visited them, and he served them. Let's imagine that when that blind guy came to he Jesus, Jesus said, "You're in my thoughts and prayers" and then left. That story would have turned out very differently. We all do and say things in our lives almost out of habit. Like think of how many times you've said "Hey how are you?" and not actually listened for the answer. Lots, I know. I do this ALL the time, and I'm working incr...

Swing Sets

When I was a little girl, and it was recess I would run straight for the swing set. Teina, Josi, Dallin, and I would hurry our butts out to get the swings that we knew could go the highest. Then we would swing. We would jump off (sometimes get in trouble) and continue to swing. It became a place of peace for me. I never needed to worry about anything else other than pumping my legs, holding on, and letting go at the right time. I remember having major conversations on those swing sets, I remember tears, loneliness, happiness, and friendship. Lately, when I close my eyes I'm right back on that swing set, enjoying every moment of recess. Why is it that when we grow up we naturally leave the things that brought us peace and comfort as children? Why do we feel like we need something more in order to "properly" take care of our selves? Something so simple would bring such peace, and now in a time in my life where peace seems to be the last thing I can find, tod...

Lessons From Environmental Issues: State Shift

I've been taking this Bio class called environmental issues, and to put it lightly, there's not a whole lot that I like about it. However I found something useful this week, maybe something that touched me more than it should have. There are different types of changes in the environment. For example: Resilience : is the ability for the environment to bounce back after something drastic happens. Like a tornado, or a hurricane. Let's put this into people's lives, this is like a break up, or the ending of a friendship. It hurts, it even devastates you but give it time, all things will go back to it's natural state. However long that takes, it will heal. You will heal. Then.. There's a change called a state shift . This is uncommon in the environment, because of it's tragic and lasting effects. A state shift means no matter how hard the environment tries, it will never be how it was before, it's changed and can't be reversed. Now let's ...

Living Life Under 5 Foot

Search This Blog