Skip to main content

Pondering

    When it's all said and done no one cares what clothes you wore, who your friends were, or what car you drove. However they will remember what you said, how to made people feel, and what your smile looked like. We are all going to leave this world at some point, now whether its next week, next year, or in 100 years no one will know. We should live our lives at a standard that at our funeral people will stand up and say, "He was everyone's best friend" or " I remember her bright smile" or " He had that way of making me feel important" or "Her eyes lite up whenever anyone was near her."
God hears and answers prayers, I know it, I have felt it through this past week and I know everyone else in Magrath has felt the same. They were all great kids, my old seminary teacher told me " We cry because we loved, and that's the best reason to cry." Crying won't bring them back, I know Renzo would not want me crying my life away, but he would want me smiling, cracking jokes, and living my life. So that is what I chose to do. From this day on. Live my life the way I want!


I want to open up, let people in, and love everyone. 
I want to smile more than I cry
I want to have a sore tummy from laughing
I want to be everyone's best friend.
I want to be running when the sand runs out.








ps. I'm back home in Salt Lake.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Your "Thoughts and Prayers" Are Bullshit.

Yes. I said it. I also thoroughly agree with that statement. Here's why. As I've been going through pretty huge and life-changing medical problems, my family has been physically nowhere near me. Granted my intestine decided to swell up in Saskatoon, which isn't convenient for anyone. It's given me so much time to think, in some scary and painful moments. Let me preface this by saying I'm not a religious person,  However from what I know, God, helped those in need, he didn't just pray for the sick,  he visited them, and he served them. Let's imagine that when that blind guy came to he Jesus, Jesus said, "You're in my thoughts and prayers" and then left. That story would have turned out very differently. We all do and say things in our lives almost out of habit. Like think of how many times you've said "Hey how are you?" and not actually listened for the answer. Lots, I know. I do this ALL the time, and I'm working incr...

To the Moment When I Thought I was Dying

"This might be it." "Breathe." "I know it hurts, but breathe Shay. You need to breathe." For a moment I start to forget how important oxygen is, it’s like my body stops caring about breathing, it hurts too much, and it’s way too much work for the little o2 that’s coming to me. My body starts to comfort itself, things are going tingly, dark, and I’m getting cold. I can feel the laboring slowing down. The pain increases again, my eyes start to close, and my feet are completely numb. I feel a cold tear drip down the side of my face as my world slips into darkness.   "No."   "Wake up."   "This isn’t it for you." "You aren’t going like this."   I force another painful breath in.   "Ouch."   I could go on, and in more detail, however for the sake of my very terrified brain, that's the only piece you'll get from my journal. That came the second night I was...

Swing Sets

When I was a little girl, and it was recess I would run straight for the swing set. Teina, Josi, Dallin, and I would hurry our butts out to get the swings that we knew could go the highest. Then we would swing. We would jump off (sometimes get in trouble) and continue to swing. It became a place of peace for me. I never needed to worry about anything else other than pumping my legs, holding on, and letting go at the right time. I remember having major conversations on those swing sets, I remember tears, loneliness, happiness, and friendship. Lately, when I close my eyes I'm right back on that swing set, enjoying every moment of recess. Why is it that when we grow up we naturally leave the things that brought us peace and comfort as children? Why do we feel like we need something more in order to "properly" take care of our selves? Something so simple would bring such peace, and now in a time in my life where peace seems to be the last thing I can find, tod...