Tonight I Miss You Just a Little More.

There are times when I want to share my joys, my funnies, and my jokes with you.
I feel it in my heart and know how much you'd love it.
Sometimes I think back to the life we had, and how filled with life you were.
I'm finding new friends, and I always remember you,
But tonight, especially, I'm missing you.

There is a piece of my soul, that can never be returned
You were that spot, and it's okay for me to feel this way, '
You wouldn't want me to be this sad, and I'm mostly strong these days.
But tonight I'm missing you.

I'll always be your brave girl, for this is different than I've ever had to deal with.
I can't talk to people about it, and I shouldn't still cry about it.
I need to be the strong woman you raised, I know I need to carry on
I know how I should act,
But tonight I'm just a little sad, tonight I'm just a little hurt,
and tonight I want nothing more than to talk to you.

When life gets a little harder, it's harder not to think of the people I miss.
Because you people would help with this very problem.
Whether it's sitting on your couch,
Talking about life,
Or eating popsicles,
There's a special light each of you have that I've lost.
It's okay to miss that.
And tonight, I realize, that's why I'm on edge. I miss that.

I miss you.

All of you.

Comments

Your "Thoughts and Prayers" Are Bullshit.

Yes. I said it. I also thoroughly agree with that statement. Here's why. As I've been going through pretty huge and life-changing medical problems, my family has been physically nowhere near me. Granted my intestine decided to swell up in Saskatoon, which isn't convenient for anyone. It's given me so much time to think, in some scary and painful moments. Let me preface this by saying I'm not a religious person, However from what I know, God, helped those in need, he didn't just pray for the sick, he visited them, and he served them. Let's imagine that when that blind guy came to he Jesus, Jesus said, "You're in my thoughts and prayers" and then left. That story would have turned out very differently. We all do and say things in our lives almost out of habit. Like think of how many times you've said "Hey how are you?" and not actually listened for the answer. Lots, I know. I do this ALL the time, and I'm working incr...

To the Moment When I Thought I was Dying

"This might be it." "Breathe." "I know it hurts, but breathe Shay. You need to breathe." For a moment I start to forget how important oxygen is, it’s like my body stops caring about breathing, it hurts too much, and it’s way too much work for the little o2 that’s coming to me. My body starts to comfort itself, things are going tingly, dark, and I’m getting cold. I can feel the laboring slowing down. The pain increases again, my eyes start to close, and my feet are completely numb. I feel a cold tear drip down the side of my face as my world slips into darkness. "No." "Wake up." "This isn’t it for you." "You aren’t going like this." I force another painful breath in. "Ouch." I could go on, and in more detail, however for the sake of my very terrified brain, that's the only piece you'll get from my journal. That came the second night I was...

Swing Sets

When I was a little girl, and it was recess I would run straight for the swing set. Teina, Josi, Dallin, and I would hurry our butts out to get the swings that we knew could go the highest. Then we would swing. We would jump off (sometimes get in trouble) and continue to swing. It became a place of peace for me. I never needed to worry about anything else other than pumping my legs, holding on, and letting go at the right time. I remember having major conversations on those swing sets, I remember tears, loneliness, happiness, and friendship. Lately, when I close my eyes I'm right back on that swing set, enjoying every moment of recess. Why is it that when we grow up we naturally leave the things that brought us peace and comfort as children? Why do we feel like we need something more in order to "properly" take care of our selves? Something so simple would bring such peace, and now in a time in my life where peace seems to be the last thing I can find, tod...

Living Life Under 5 Foot

Search This Blog