6 Things That Happen When You Find Yourself in a Healthy Relationship (After Never Having One)

In this world it sometimes can be hard to find a human you can put up with, nevertheless love, and nevertheless actually be a good person. We've all gone through those bad relationships, some of us are still in them, and others have left and are feeling hopeless.. We all know what happens when those bad relationships control and destroy us.. but what happens when you find a healthy relationship.

1) You are this easy level of happy. 

Many have always told you that when you are in love, you are this blissful happy, but since you’ve only been in the wrong relationships, you didn’t understand this before now. You are pleasantly happy with the human you chose. It’s no longer a fight anytime you see something different, it’s not longer sad nights crying, and it’s not longer feeling like you aren’t good enough. This easy level of happy is present, and you are happy to work out problems because you know your person isn’t trying to hurt you, they don’t want to sink you, they are just human, and it’s okay to make mistakes. 

2) Every once in a while you say to your human, “Wait are you sure?” And they look at you like you are crazy and say, “Yes… why wouldn’t I be?”

I remember the first time this happened to me, I wanted to go watch football, and since my man isn’t a huge fan, I really didn’t want to take his entire evening to watch it.. and this weird old version of Shay came to me and said, “Is it okay if I go watch football at a pub with some of my guy friends?” To which is looked at me like I was crazy..asked me why I was asking permission, then said of course I should go and even dropped me off. Previous, in relationships we are used to being put in a box, cutting out friendships and morphing to be part of someone else in a non-healthy manner, we think its normal to have to ask permission to spend time with friends, rather than explaining we have plans. So when we find a good one, we always want to double check because we don’t want to get yelled at later. 
So sometimes we are still slightly crazy. 

3) You become a better version of your very weird self. 

They say falling in love is just friendship on fire.. Well before we experienced the lack of friendship.. and love.. so it was more like falling in fire. Which is as uncomfortable as it sounds. But now that we’ve found a healthy relationship our inner dork comes out.. and our other half loves and encourages it. Whether it’s playing zombie video games, finding joys in disney movies, or never wearing pants at home.. they help you thrive. Part of you feels like you are weirdest human.. until you see that person you love and realize that THEY are just as weird. 

4) Together you feel you can accomplish anything. 

The first word is the most important.. TOGETHER. This means with each other you two can accomplish the world. Whatever you put your minds to you can do it. It’s no longer trailing behind another person, it’s no longer about pleasing, and living to be a doormat. It’s not about becoming a trophy wife, or a big tough man, it’s about working together to bring about the common goals, and that, when in a healthy relationship comes easier. It’s an easy discussion, it’s a happy place, and it’s the right place to be. 

5)You no longer feel the NEED to post endlessly about your man. 

With up and down relationships sometimes we try to hide how bad it is, we do this by putting up a strong social media face. Everything we posted would be about the controlling person we were with, we would write little love quotes, and say all the right things, and frequently as Facebook would let us. But now, it almost slips your mind until someone says, “Are you two still dating?” Then you look at your profile and see the memories of him in all your pictures.. you see a picture of you holding an ice cream cone, what the public doesn’t see is 2 seconds later he pushed it in your nose. there’s a picture of the beach, and what people don’t know is he was holding you close when you took the picture. You are posting memories lived with him, no longer creating a shrine to your relationship and your social media friends thank you. 

6) You actually have friends, and your friends actually like spending time with the both of you. 

Remember before when it was just you and him with nothing to do and never getting invited anywhere? Yeah.. that’s because no one actually liked him, and everyone thought you could do better. I’m glad you have done better. When you find yourself in that healthy relationship people still like you, you have your friends and family around (to whatever degree you wish) You’ve created new friends, and couple friends and still have individual friends, basically, there is no lack of friends, and that’s because you are finally with a decent human who is actually pretty decent on the fun scale.