I have been doing better at life. I feel a little happier, and I feel like I can smile and not feel guilty. Yet the pain is still real, and still there. This accident changed my life, and made me reconsider where I am going. I heard this quote that reads...
"Isn't it strange that the times we come closest to our maker is when a life is given and when it's taken away."
I have discovered this in my life over the past month, the pain is still too real to fully comprehend and at the same time it brings back the pain of losing my Ma and Pa Kinneard, and losing my Pa. All before it was in my mind "their time." Life is soo precious, I don't want to let one day pass me by without doing something for someone else. These people that have come and then gone from my life were there for a purpose.
Pa-K gave me hope when I was ready to give up on myself. On Trek I wanted to just give up, cry, and feel sorry for me. He taught me to learn how to accept charity. Ma-K, what a wonderful women. When I was feeling alone, and sad because I couldn't do everything else the other kids my age could, she helped me keep my chin up and taught me that by serving others I can find the strength to carry on. My Pa, he loved me, although we didn't really get to see each other before he passed and I am still kicking myself for that. He loved me, I remember him always asking me if I was saving up sugar for him. He has taught me that my kisses should mean something. That one day an amazing man will come and deserve "my sugar"
Sometimes the days are more daunting than others, and the pain hurts a little more, but I know they loved me. I know I loved them. It.Was.Real.
Don't let a day pass you by
Because one day you will see
Just how many went on passed
and there is nothing you can do to bring it back.
Because one day they won't be there.. So...
Hold them tight.
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