Harbouring.

Crap happens. 

None of us escape this life without pain, suffering, hurt feelings, and terrible memories. 

Sometimes it happens from our choices, other times it's choices of others that haunt us. No matter how it happens pain like this causes me to shut down, to hide away, and hope that the pain will stop. It hurts my heart and steals my energy. 

How do we get over things like this? 

Step 1: Accept that you are a child of a loving Heavenly Father who wants nothing more for you than to be whole again thus He provided the Atonement to heal us as well as forgive us. 

Step 2: Pray your little heart out. Nothing starts the healing process like a good cry and a prayer to the Lord. 

Step 3: Start to forgive yourself. No matter what you did or anything anyone did to you somehow you will feel it's your fault. Even if it's the case the past is the past and there is NOTHING you can do to change it. Forgive yourself. 

Step 4: Make restitution  Say you are sorry to whom ever you hurt. If someone hurt you, sometimes this step doesn't happen. This is the step that can cause you to harbour hurt feelings and nursing the unhealed wounds. If something happened to you that you have no control over, this is the hardest stage. Often this stage creates closure yet so often it never happens. (See Step 5)

Step 5: Understand that the person who caused the pain is a child of God just as much as you are. It's not our place to judge them and blame them. Otherwise the harder sin is on our heads. We all make mistakes. If you want others to forgive you, forgive others. It's that simple.

Step 6: LET GO OF IT. The past is the past. Nothing can bring a person back, take away the pain, or erase the memories. Please learn to accept that and begin to let go of the mistake. We all make them. Don't rate your mistakes against others. All mistakes are equal and they all happen. 

Step 7: Move on. - We forgive not for others but for ourself. Move on and don't look back. Don't bring it up, don't throw it in your face, or theirs. Don't let people do this to you.

Step 8: When you have said you have forgiven someone get over it. I don't know how to phrase that with tact. Just get over it. Everyone is human, we need to stop having expectations for others, because honestly, we are all human. We say, do and think dumb things frequently, at least I do, so in the most simple of terms. Put your pride behind you and get over it. 

Life is way too short to hold onto grudges. Life ends, quickly. So forgive quickly.