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Faces

Today I was looking up the definition of many different words. Mainly because when I use words some children ask me what they mean.
As of late I have found a little joy in looking up secondary meanings. Most people only read number 1 in the dictionary. How many of you read number 2?

For example:

Integrity:
1) The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.


And that's where everyone nods and thinks, "Yes, that is what it is."

Here is where I have found my joy.

2) The state of being whole and undivided.


Wow. Who knew.

This girl, right here, didn't.

We all put on faces. And no, I'm not talking about the make up we wear or clothes we put on. I'm talking about our personalities. We have different faces.
Examples: In high school, I was fun with my friends and super sucky to my family.
My friends saw me as this fun girl.
My family saw me as hell.

Those were the faces I wore, until I started learning how hard it is to keep that up. I did what most people do when they grow up. I combined my faces, and became Shay! The woman I am trying to be right now. I'd like to think I'm trying to be a good person, and learning from my mistakes (even if it takes me a while) I still am trying to learn. I act professional at work, I do right by my friends, and I make my family a priority. I'm by no means perfect at this, but I sure am trying.

Many say that I am not emotional (or have no emotions) that's not true. I have emotions, I just choose to only show 2 main ones. Happy, and angry. If I'm mad at you, I promise I won't sneak behind your back, I'll confront you, and work it through so that we both can be happy again. That is called being an adult, and working through problems. Because the only person you hurt when you run from problems is yourself.

They say this world is getting worse and worse, and I believe them, because I see it. I experience it. And I live in it. It scares me to one day raise children in a world so corrupt. A world so without integrity.
Life is too incredibly short to change your faces. Stick to one, it works better.




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