You've Made Me Realize My Deepest Fear

Two months down, and it feels like forever to go, and not in the good way.

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!

Put down your phones, and spend time with people in your life. Open up to everyone. Life is too short to hold grudges, be angry, and be alone. Find people who bring happiness, and cherish every minute with them. At the end of the day it won't be the amount of money you've made that makes you happy. It's the memories that form in the unlikeliest of places.

I don't often open up about things, but this week has me raw. My cousin Teina was such a dear, close friend. Sometimes I would say we were sisters. Our sense of humour was the same (which made telling jokes easy) She loved life, and loved people (even though she pretended to hate them) there was a happiness about her that I have yet to find with her begin gone, and I won't ever find it. Time doesn't heal us, time allows us to grow, learn, cope and develop. For the rest of my life I will miss my Teina, I will sometimes cry, and sometimes hurt. There will be things that make me think of her and the wonderful 21 years we had to be together. This doesn't mean I'm a mess or I'm not dealing with the facts, this just means that I'm human. Grief is a price of love, and large amounts of grief is the cost of a large loving life. So take it from someone who would give anything to have just 10 minutes with my loved one. This life is short, cherish those people who make life worth living.

Now I have an angel watching over me,

protecting me day in and day out,

but in the darkness I dream and wish

that, that angel wasn't so far away.

They say we should think of the positives,

And I try to remember the life you lived,

so I live mine a little better

but I still want that angel to be here.

That morning you left, a small light

disappeared, and within my heart

a hole began to form, which now is a crater.

I hope this angel is holding me.

Each day seems to draw on new heart strings

Reminding me of the space where you fit.

Today is especially sore as now I oft think

towards the future.

A reminder did come

that moving on isn't forgetting,

that memories will remain, and

You aren't as far as it feels.

Comments

Your "Thoughts and Prayers" Are Bullshit.

Yes. I said it. I also thoroughly agree with that statement. Here's why. As I've been going through pretty huge and life-changing medical problems, my family has been physically nowhere near me. Granted my intestine decided to swell up in Saskatoon, which isn't convenient for anyone. It's given me so much time to think, in some scary and painful moments. Let me preface this by saying I'm not a religious person, However from what I know, God, helped those in need, he didn't just pray for the sick, he visited them, and he served them. Let's imagine that when that blind guy came to he Jesus, Jesus said, "You're in my thoughts and prayers" and then left. That story would have turned out very differently. We all do and say things in our lives almost out of habit. Like think of how many times you've said "Hey how are you?" and not actually listened for the answer. Lots, I know. I do this ALL the time, and I'm working incr...

Lessons From Environmental Issues: State Shift

I've been taking this Bio class called environmental issues, and to put it lightly, there's not a whole lot that I like about it. However I found something useful this week, maybe something that touched me more than it should have. There are different types of changes in the environment. For example: Resilience : is the ability for the environment to bounce back after something drastic happens. Like a tornado, or a hurricane. Let's put this into people's lives, this is like a break up, or the ending of a friendship. It hurts, it even devastates you but give it time, all things will go back to it's natural state. However long that takes, it will heal. You will heal. Then.. There's a change called a state shift . This is uncommon in the environment, because of it's tragic and lasting effects. A state shift means no matter how hard the environment tries, it will never be how it was before, it's changed and can't be reversed. Now let's ...

To the Moment When I Thought I was Dying

"This might be it." "Breathe." "I know it hurts, but breathe Shay. You need to breathe." For a moment I start to forget how important oxygen is, it’s like my body stops caring about breathing, it hurts too much, and it’s way too much work for the little o2 that’s coming to me. My body starts to comfort itself, things are going tingly, dark, and I’m getting cold. I can feel the laboring slowing down. The pain increases again, my eyes start to close, and my feet are completely numb. I feel a cold tear drip down the side of my face as my world slips into darkness. "No." "Wake up." "This isn’t it for you." "You aren’t going like this." I force another painful breath in. "Ouch." I could go on, and in more detail, however for the sake of my very terrified brain, that's the only piece you'll get from my journal. That came the second night I was...

Living Life Under 5 Foot

Search This Blog