You've Made Me Realize My Deepest Fear

Two months down, and it feels like forever to go, and not in the good way.

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!

Put down your phones, and spend time with people in your life. Open up to everyone. Life is too short to hold grudges, be angry, and be alone. Find people who bring happiness, and cherish every minute with them. At the end of the day it won't be the amount of money you've made that makes you happy. It's the memories that form in the unlikeliest of places.

I don't often open up about things, but this week has me raw. My cousin Teina was such a dear, close friend. Sometimes I would say we were sisters. Our sense of humour was the same (which made telling jokes easy) She loved life, and loved people (even though she pretended to hate them) there was a happiness about her that I have yet to find with her begin gone, and I won't ever find it. Time doesn't heal us, time allows us to grow, learn, cope and develop. For the rest of my life I will miss my Teina, I will sometimes cry, and sometimes hurt. There will be things that make me think of her and the wonderful 21 years we had to be together. This doesn't mean I'm a mess or I'm not dealing with the facts, this just means that I'm human. Grief is a price of love, and large amounts of grief is the cost of a large loving life. So take it from someone who would give anything to have just 10 minutes with my loved one. This life is short, cherish those people who make life worth living.

Now I have an angel watching over me,

protecting me day in and day out,

but in the darkness I dream and wish

that, that angel wasn't so far away.

They say we should think of the positives,

And I try to remember the life you lived,

so I live mine a little better

but I still want that angel to be here.

That morning you left, a small light

disappeared, and within my heart

a hole began to form, which now is a crater.

I hope this angel is holding me.

Each day seems to draw on new heart strings

Reminding me of the space where you fit.

Today is especially sore as now I oft think

towards the future.

A reminder did come

that moving on isn't forgetting,

that memories will remain, and

You aren't as far as it feels.

Comments

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