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Toxic to You VS Toxic People

I’ve been struggling to find my voice lately, I think I may have just gotten ever so slightly lost in adventure that I forgot myself.

I forgot things I loved, and parts of myself, and I’m just working on bringing them back. Also I've been working on maybe rebranding, and changing things up a bit..

I’ve been seeing a bunch on “toxic people” lately on my social media, and I really wanted to put my educated thoughts into words.

So here it is. Enjoy it or don't it's your choice.

I don't believe there are “toxic people” however that being said I do believe that, “some people can be toxic to you.”
We are all different humans made up of millions of hormones, emotions, traumas, and nerve connections. Each of those play an important role in who we are and how we react to sections of our lives.

I’ve had a friend say lately that she wishes she was “dead inside” so she could react more like me. It’s really stuck in my brain.

Then I had someone say they thought “I was devoid of human emotion”

Both incredibly hurtful to my very alive emotions. Which got me thinking about this topic of toxicity. To me, it’s toxic, but to other people they can handle that, or they don’t drive that person the level of crazy that I do. To me, I see that as offensively rude, and to them, it's a way they are expressing themselves by reaching out to me.

My brain later jumps to the simple thought of: at what point is that a character flaw that can be changes and what point is it part of who you are? And is there a difference.

YES!
There is a difference. Your emotions and reactions DO NOT DEFINE YOU. Let me say thing again in another way to really hit my point across. Whatever you are feeling and how you choose to react and treat people is NOT PART OF YOUR CHARACTER. That is your emotional intelligence. It’s something you can easily (give or take the definition) change and shape. It’s not some part of you that you have to protect and further more it’s not other people’s responsibility to “accept you for that” because you could be toxic to them, and causing them problems. They can choose to not be around you and that’s their choice just as much as it’s your choice to be emotionally charged with your decision making.

This past few weeks, I’ve had a few highly emotional responses to certain relationships and different areas that I really could have handled differently. Then I got talking to my grandma and she reminded me that I don’t have to fix everyone. Their drama does not have to be mine, and I don’t have to be defined by how they choose to react. I get the chance to walk away and that's okay. It's healthy for me to surround myself with people who are more similar in certain areas of emotions.

It was a good wake up call for me to remember that I will naturally become a summation of the 5 closest people to me, and if I don't want to act and react that way, then sometimes it's time to say goodbye for a bit in order to allow myself to build to where I want to be.

This last little bit has been a struggle, there have been some shining defining moments, and there have been some pretty big failures.

But I'm learning, I'm struggling, and I'm still moving forward.

But most importantly I'm deciding what is toxic to me, and trying to eliminate it from my life.


Be selfish and brave in the pursuit of yourself.

Travel Safe Humans,

Shay!


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