The Day in January

2

2018 went by in a blur.

And not in a bad way.

It just sped past, as quickly as time would allow. So now I'm sitting here in an airport looking at the calendar and seeing 2019 stare directly back at me. As I'm prepping this year for certain goals, and ways I want to better myself, my business, my friends, and my relationships, I can't help but think of you.

Each January as it rings in a new year, there's a tiny hole in my heart that feels so much bigger. There's sections of my life that I get so excited for, and then there's the date... the date I dread. The date that no matter how much I pretend it's not coming, or that it's just a number, that I'll somehow forget the day I lost you.

This airport is busy, everyone is walking so fast, running around, getting grumpy and rushing to make their flights after the holidays, no one is sitting still, or cuddling together, in fact I've seen very few hands being held other than a rather good escape artist who looks to be about 3 years old. My mind is just a racing melting pot right now. Filled with emotions.

I guess it's just one of those days. You know the days, the ones where you get transported back 4 years, and it seems as though it was yesterday. My heart is an aching racing melting pot now.

I'm just sitting here and letting the world circle around me, there's no need to rush for me. I'm happy right now. Right here, in this moment. Because in this moment I can feel you near me, directing me, and guiding me to where I need to go. I can feel your influence in my life, the change you brought me, and the freedom you gave. Each memory I savor and cherish.

Because of all that, it's easy to sit still right now, it's easy to think of all the wonderful people my heart has loved, and more so, I think of all the people I could love more, or better. I can continually reminded of how short this life is, and I have no clue how long anyone will be in it.

So let the crowds rush, let them get grumpy, let them race always in a hurry, because I will sit here, resting, and reminiscing for grief is much more like a wave then it is anything else. It ebbs and flows.

Comments

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